Blue Skies

April 26, 2013 § Leave a comment

There are days like today… blue sky days that make you feel guilty for sitting inside. Days like this make me wonder about what I am doing… I feel like I have a little life and I wonder what someone with a little life like mine could really do in this big blue sky world, you know? I know it sounds wrong – I even think it sounds too “woe is me” for my liking – but I kind of cant help feeling this way. My office chair broke (haha, it was no real office chair, it was an old Chinese wooden chair) a few weeks ago (I think it was because I kept sitting cross-legged on it) so I relocated my desk and now I sit on a cushion on the ground with my laptop on my cabinet. My new vantage point is a much lower one and when I look out of my window it is just sky- no buildings and no trees but uninhibited sky. Big open skies remind me of my childhood in California. I used to hope for clouds because in my opinion there seemed to be an unbalanced ratio of sky to clouds. Hehe, but now that I live in Shanghai, clear skies is a very rare thing (even today it isn’t so clear nor blue) but I am not complaining, really. All I wanted to say today was that I can feel that times are changing and big changes will come soon but when I look up and see a big open sky I think, “perhaps all is as it should be” and God’s plans are coming to pass not because of what I am doing or not doing but because that is the natural orbit of this world He made – returning to Him who created all things. What will come to pass will come and no amount of fretting or wondering on my part will change that. This reminds me of the parable in Mark “The kingdom of God is as if a man should scatter seed on the ground. He sleeps and rises night and day, and the seed sprouts and grows; he knows not how. The earth produces by itself, first the blade, then the ear then the full grain in the ear.But when the grain is ripe, at once he puts in the sickle, because the harvest has come.” Then the seed grows into a mustard seed that covers the whole field…

I’ve been reading LOTR and every time I read phrases like “bygone days” or “the days of old” or “the ancients” my heart jumps a little bit… like a sudden thrill of excitement goes through my body… I’m not really sure why but it is crazy thrilling to know that bygone days and ancients have come before and we are the result of these days.. hah, these are some random thoughts from today… I should go back to work now… heh

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