Late nights

March 8, 2013 § Leave a comment

I’ve been sleeping late recently. It’s an old bad habit that is creeping back into my routine and I’ve let it… It’s mainly because I’ve been hooked on some silly tv show (Downton Abbey for me). I know it is probably filling my mind and heart with nonsense but I can’t help wondering why I, a spectator to a fictional story set 100 years ago, could feel so closely connected to the characters? It seems very foolish and im embarrassed to admit it because I’ve been tying so hard to be good. But tonight, as I got into my bed just before 2am and began to say my prayers I thought to myself, “Instead of reprimanding myself like usual over the whole thing why don’t I be kind to myself. Yes, let’s change it up and have a bit of grace or is it mercy – I always confuse the two- but I think a bit of that is what I need tonight. So when I prayed I started to ask God why it is I am so engrossed and invested in stories that aren’t mine and are fabrications of people I don’t even know. It seems so ridiculous and wrong maybe. So I waited… Well I’m not sure I really waited but I got a response and it surprised me. I had the sense He was telling me that all stories are connected and that all of them no matter real or dreamt up belong to one large story… And in heaven there will be no difference between a real and a fake story because our dreams will be reality and it will be completely thrilling! We won’t need to pretend we live in another world or in another time or place… We will just live in the constant beauty of heaven where all these things have no boundaries – they exist all at the same time… Oh, I don’t know if this is true or not – it’s a dream to me. But I do believe that stories will be incredible in heaven – the kind where you walk in and just smell the plot and then grab your friend by the hand and together you jump onto a sled and fly down the largest snow mountain and only the birds can see you because you are so high in the air… I don’t know… I really don’t. I want to believe that our dreams and our reality will be linked or even made one in heaven – I believe that. To be with God and to see Him as be really is…. Wow… His presence will be heaven. It quite literally will be heaven. I love that… I love imagining that. I think even now we can imagine that – we have a glimpse of it. It is like walking into a room where you know someone you like or even love is… and the very flavor of the room is sweetened by their presence. It may be something about them that is charming but when someone asks you, all you can really think is – it’s just their very existence/being that captures your heart. So I imagine that this is a little bit of what it will be like to be in the very presence of The Lord… Like walking into pure splendor in every way and to every sense. I cannot wait. I do long for heaven. I never did before but maybe because I didn’t want to think about it- seemed too foreign a place. But I don’t see it as being so far away anymore. It’s coming nearer and nearer every day. Ain’t it? Don’t you feel it? “As earth as it is in heaven…” Right? Oh yes, I believe it…

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