December 11, 2015 § Leave a comment
I started tutoring a high school boy 3 times a week. The other day he asked me, “Why do you always wear dark colors?” I told him that I need to look professional, dress older, so I don’t blend in with all the high schoolers. His response was something along the lines of, “dark colors are boring and dressing older doesn’t mean you give up style.” Hahaha! He also suggested that I wear my drivers license around my neck so people can see how old I am and not be confused… There is something jolting yet insightful about being told off by a high school kid, haha.
For the past 6 months, I’ve been trying to find the perfect uniform for myself – something I can wear almost every day and look good in. I used to agonize, spend many hours in front of the mirror, trying to put together outfits. All of my clothes at the time were so one-of-a-kind that they needed special treatment and extra thought to put together. The problem, my husband pointed out a few years later, was that I didn’t have enough basics (white/black t-shirts or plain things) to match with all my funky random pieces. So it would be like trying to match pink dahlias, sunflowers, and orchids together – just too many pieces fighting for center stage. I started buying very plain pieces so everything could match and painfully got rid of my crazy random clothes that I loved. I either sold or gave away 80% of my clothes and now I have 10-20 pieces of very plain and very boring clothes (okay, maybe a few cute ones)… Admittedly, practically every day, I wear the same dark blue cashmere turtleneck sweater with leggings because I can get away with it. M,W,F and T,TH I work at different places so people generally don’t catch on besides my husband and roommates, heh.
My little conclusion of the day: buy some colorful clothing 🙂
September 18, 2015 § Leave a comment
Hello, I haven’t written a blog post in over a year and half. This will be my first post as a married woman 🙂
I had a prompting to start posting again a few months ago and today I decided to actually do it.
Today, my husband Duncan and I went to the flea market at the Rose Bowl. It was so unbearably hot I couldn’t concentrate on what I was looking at. Everything became one big blur of stuff! I don’t think I can describe to you how much I used to love flea markets. To me, they were like entering into a great big closet of the past where you could sift through all the old treasures of yesteryear. If you know me well, you will know how much I love old things. Everything old to me seems more romantic, simple, better designed, and more interesting. I can’t begin to describe how much random stuff I used to have ex. old doll shoe (single shoe, not even a pair), multiple watch fobs (I still don’t know what they are)…Anyway, back to today…
I had a surprising thought/s today while I was looking at all the vintage/antiques. It’s surprising because I never thought of them before.
- Treasures can be found again
- Perhaps not everything is that special/one of a kind
1. Treasures can be found again:
I was a hoarder. The idea that “I will never find this again!” was a big part of why I kept things. I was afraid that if I let something go, I would regret it and never be able to get it back. So a brief back story of my past few months… We (my husband and I) came back from missions 5 months ago. After 6 months of being in Australia with only a fraction of my stuff I realized how good it felt to not have so much stuff and to also not have so many of my “treasures” with me (because I didn’t think it was practical to bring really valuable things to missions). Anyway, I came back from Australia wanting to live simply and ready to finally face my things, sort through them, and get rid of what I didn’t need. But the process was quite long and I did it in waves. I would go through one box and get rid of a few things but I knew in my heart that I hadn’t really gotten rid of everything I should have gotten rid of… There were always a few things that I didn’t want to make the decision about at that moment so I would think up some reason why I might need it in the future and use that to justify postponing my final decision. Anyway, then I read Marie Kondo’s book on tidying and it helped me so much! I think it was one of my biggest break throughs up to now. Back to the point, I realized today that for me it was hard to get rid of stuff because I thought I would lose the memory that was connected to that item and to me that seemed really terrible. I felt like that something special would be forgotten. But I was holding on to the past so I had little room for improvement. I don’t mean you should get rid of everything old so you can get all new stuff but for me it was so freeing to get rid of old stuff because I was able to ask myself, “what do I need NOW?” “what do I use NOW?” “what do I like NOW?” which was really hard to ask before because it meant getting rid of a lot of sentimental things. But after working through this process of getting rid of stuff, it’s been really fun to ask myself what I like now as opposed to trying to put all these items from different times in my life together, trying really hard for them to match or look cohesive. And when I’m having a hard time letting go I sometimes remind myself that if for some reason all of my things were burned up, there would only be a small handful of things I would really miss. And that helps me to have a more reasonable perspective on my sentimental things and though it may be hard/expensive, I could rebuild a home with stuff in it again if everything was to be burned it.
2. Perhaps not everything is that special/one of a kind
When I was walking around the flea market, I was kind of overwhelmed by the amount of antiques/vintage. Then I started realizing that a lot of the antiques/vintage I have at home that I’m having a hard time parting with are just about the same (in rarity) as these things at the flea market. I started thinking that maybe my stuff wasn’t as one of a kind as I thought. It was freeing and I felt relieved… I think I was holding on to a lot things because I thought it would be silly to get rid of such a nice/special ____ but in reality there is a sea of interesting vintage/antiques/things and so it’s okay. There will always be something else.
Last thing I wanted to share: I volunteer at a senior home and I was listening to a conversation two Chinese oldies were having. An old lady who had just moved from Beijing to the US was saying how she would like to go back to her house in China every few months. The old man asked her if it was because she wanted to see family, friends, or neighbors but the woman said no. All her family was here in the US, her friends were too senile and she wasn’t that close to her neighbors. She just wanted to go back and see how her house was doing. And the old man said, “Why do you need to do that? Aren’t things suppose to service us and not us service things?” I’ve been thinking about this idea recently. I don’t know when it started, but some time in my life I started to give inanimate objects life/feelings which really confused me as I got older because I didn’t know what was appropriate care/ time spent on items. I think you know that I’m not saying that we should just throw things around and misuse things but if something that is not living is sucking up your time/thoughts/emotions then something needs to change. For example, I used to have so much stuff that I felt like I was always organizing/putting things away/re-organizing and it took so much of my time! But now, I just don’t have very much stuff so cleaning and taking care of things is so much faster! Another example is my clothing. I used to have so much clothing that I would forget to hand wash or dry clean the delicate ones, wash out a stain on a blouse, etc but now bc I have less stuff, I have less to keep track of. So it’s easier to remember to wash out the stain or drop off my nice dress at the dry cleaners because I only have 1-2 nice dresses. Or in the past, I could get away with not doing laundry for upwards of 2 weeks because I had enough clothes (only when I ran out of underwear did I do my laundry) but now, I run out of shirts or clothes to wear, which is weird but such a nice feeling! It feels good to utilize what I have. P.S And it’s so much easier to get dressed because I don’t have as many options and I like all my options (plus they all match because of the color book I read, Color Me Beautiful, Carole Jackson).
I don’t know if anyone reads my blog anymore but it’s really nice to be able to write things out.
March 13, 2014 § Leave a comment
I am writing to you, little children, because your sins have been forgiven you for His name’s sake. I am writing to you, fathers, because you know Him who has been from the beginning. I am writing to you, young men, because you have overcome the evil one. I have written to you children, because you know the Father. I have written to you, fathers, because you know Him who has been from the beginning. I have written to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God abides in you, and you have overcome the evil one.
1 John 2:12-14
March 1, 2014 § Leave a comment
You need me every moment. Your awareness of your constant need for Me is your greatest strength. Your neediness, properly handled, is a link to My Presence. However, there are pitfalls that you must be on guard against: self-pity, self-preoccupation, giving up. Your inadequacy presents you with a continual choice – deep dependence on Me or despair. The emptiness you feel within will be filled either with problems or with My Presence. Make Me central in your consciousness by praying continually: simple short prayers flowing out of the present moment. Use My Name liberally, to remind you of My Presence. Keep on asking and you will receive, so that your gladness may be full and complete.
1 Thessalonians 5:17; John 16:24 AMP
January 31, 2014 § Leave a comment
Happy New Year! There is always a bit of pressure to start off a new season with something interesting to say but I couldn’t decide on what to write about so I thought some nice photos would work. I really love Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly – I think they are two of the most elegant women… ever… Anyhow, I am really looking forward to 2014. I don’t think I’ve been this excited about a new year since I can remember. It smells of new adventures and memories to be made.
September 16, 2013 § Leave a comment
When I am tempted to have little or no hope, I will tell me soul that He does all things because of love. His love is abundant… it covers over all things, all sicknesses, all fears, all anxieties about the future, all uncertainties about the present, all sins from the past and present,and over all his creation… His joy – his songs of love – are like a healing balm to our souls… calling us to Himself
September 16, 2013 § Leave a comment
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name!
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits,
who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s